Forgiveness

Forgiveness - A virtue considered to be the greatest of all.
True .. Not true? hmmm speculative.
My thoughts on it
When you tend to forget the actual mistakes which could have made you toil your brain to numbness or which could have given you some sleepless nights, inspite of these if you still can be humane to the person thats what is true Forgival.
Now how many of us can achieve that. I think one needs to be a saint to do that. So assuming its beyond capacity of we ordinary mortals, what would it be for us.
There are a number of ways people would react when they are hurt by others:
1. Stop all kinds of communication.
2. Treat the person as if he/she were invisible.
3. Fight back and give a taste of his/her own apple.
4. Create negative thoughts about the person in others
5. Find ways to hurt more than you have suffered.
so there goes the virtue of forgiveness to gutters. Thats how one set of people react.
There is one more set of people who take it all even if whats going on is wrong, curse the other person silently, and still smile at them as though everything in the world is absolutely alright. These are the kind of people who will never think good about anybody. Its very tough to make out such people.
Forgiveness is a lost word in their dictionary.
Then comes the last set who think whatever happens, lets just take it in as it is our destiny.So do you need to retaliate? Their answer would be a big "NO". Ask them why and you will feel you are in a philosophy classroom. But do they forget the mistakes done by the others. No they wouldnt.. they would keep thinking about it lifelong and suffer. Ask them, have they forgiven the person. Their answer would be yes.
This set completely changes the meaning of Forgiveness in their dictionary. For them Forgival is take it all and suffer without forgetting it.
But honestly speaking, sometimes i also feel forgival cannot exist in the century we live. Asking for forgival is as simple as saying the word "Sorry". Nobody means it when they say it. Before saying sorry, its important to realise if we would forgive if others had done the same mistake and asked us sorry.
Realising a mistake is not enough and just asking "Sorry" will not undo the mistake or how much it hurt. Its important to genuinely repent what we have done without expecting a forgival in return. Its important not to make the same mistake again. Pestering a person to forcefully forgive is never a way to repent. A forceful forgival is never a heartfelt forgival.
But how many of us really do that?
Whenever the apology is genuine without a minute level of expectations in return, without letting your ego blocking you, thats when we will see the greatest virtue of all - Forgiveness in return.

Holding it tight?

“Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.”

Gold, Gold Everywhere

I was having a long vacation on the christmas weekend and i guess i was destined to go to Vellore this time. Scene 1: week before christmas

I and my friends are chatting merrily over mails. Shilpa brings out the topic of going out on this long weekend. It was a long time since we all went together. I suggested Golden temple in Vellore. Everyone seemed to agree with the place.
Scene 2: 3 days before chritmas weekend

I and my family are chatting casually after a heavy dinner. papa brings out the topic of going out on this long weekend. It was a long time since we all went together. amma suggested Golden temple in Vellore. Everyone seemed to agree with the place.
................................................................! This was a little too much. how will a person go with 2 different groups to the same place at the same time??!! so i had to let go one of them I told my friends about it and they were kind enough to understand.
So on 26th afternoon me and family started our journey to vellore. The car was supposed to be there by 11:00. Since we didnt want to get late, we had lunch at 10:45(??!!!! oh god whatever)But then when has things turned out the way we want. Car comes at 12:00. My mother gives one of her typical lectures to the driver with a smiling face. The driver nods his head and says he got stuck in traffic( And the travels was in mahalaxmi layout which is like 4 km from my place). So we started with my mother praying to lord Ganesha and then continuing with her complaints of getting late. On the way we had to pick up my uncle and aunt. We picked them up and proceeded towards hosur. On the way, i admired the way Expressway to electronic city was designed(though its been ages since it started). Since the work was going on, the roads were bad. So when i was done with admiring the expressway, i turned back to see that everyone in the car was almost dancing. Dancing yes! coz the roads were so bad! My uncle was talking about his old times (of course with the dance) and we had some merry time. Then as suddenly as we had started dancing, it stopped as well.I was wondering why when i realised we were in Tamil Nadu. The roads in Tamil Nadu are awesome. Through out our journey till Vellore, road was beautiful, without any potholes. I have travelled most parts of South India but Tamil Nadu scores the best when it comes to Highways! Its a pleasure driving on the road or travelling on those roads.
All along the road to Vellore, We come across several rocky hills. Huge rocks assembled by mother nature in wierd artistic ways. It makes one feel so small. Whatever happens, they stand tall and strong. Humans still dont give up. High up on one of those rocky mountains i could see a fort. The fort was visible from miles away. Makes me wonder how in those days they went all the way up and built a fort there. Deep down i wanted to visit the fort. But well had to keep the idea waiting until next time. Every now and then we would see huge rocky hills. Me and my mother would watch it until it faded away. Beside me my aunt, who is undoubtedly gifted of sleeping well in any place any time, was deep in slumber.
Finally at 5 we reached our destination Vellore. Our initial plan was to find an accomadation, dump all our luggage there and then proceed to "THE GOLDEN TEMPLE". We searched for one whole hour but all accomadations were full. It was 6 and we were still searching for rooms. Wherever we went, they showed us the tariff cards and then said rooms not available. This was highly frustrating. Temple would close at 8 and we were still searching. So we decided not to lose anymore time and continue our quest for rooms after we come back from temple.
When we arrived at the temple it was completely crowded as it was a friday. Friday is supposed to be auspicious to visit the temple. This we learnt after re0aching the temple.As we entered the main gate we saw long queues. The temple has 2 kinds of Dharshan. Dharma Darshan and Seva Dharshan. Dharma Dharshan is free darshan but we will be pushed out even before we have a glimpse of Godess Narayani. This was definitely our choice as we had travelled 225 km to see the temple properly. So we went for Seva dharshan. In Seva Dharshan, we are supposed to pay 250 per head. As we are doing a "seva" by giving 250 bucks per head we will be allowed to sit in front of the garbha gudi for 3 mins.( ridiculous! i definitely dont approve the idea basically because 250 is not a small amount and not every person can afford it!!!) . This irritated me a little but cant help it. But there was one good thing which impressed me. For people who find it difficult to walk till the temple, we could take wheel chairs. This was a very nice arrangement and helped people who had crossed the age of 70 to still have a dharshan. This actually made me feel better. We took the seva dharshan entry ticket. (Oh yeah by the way we are not allowed to take camera or cellphones inside. They have facilities to keep them safe. So we went inside without any kind of technology to disturb us. )
Vellore temple inside is like a different world all together. The temple is a vast area(forgot how many acres) with a star shaped path leading to the temple.In the middle of the path glows the golden temple. Its like a light glowing amidst the vast darkness of the night. Initial way to the Star like path has so many stores inside which sell kancheepuram sarees and pooja saamagris. There is a security check just before we enter the star path. The path to temple is lined with numerous sayings related to peace. There are also numerous vigrahas depicting dashavathara. Its about one and a half km walk to temple but nobody feels stressed cause all our attention is focused on reaching the temple soon and seeing its beauty upclose. My sister Ashu also was very enthusiastic to reach. Infact she had refused to take a wheel chair and walked the whole stretch. Such was the excitement. Finally we reached the golden temple.
All stood mesmerised for a second. it was difficult to take in everything. The entire temple was covered with gold. No one spoke for a while. It was beautiful. Then as we went on, everyone started pointing out what they liked the best. I loved the pillars and the chandeliers which glittered with so much light around and reflection from the gold covering. Finally we were in the abode of goddess Narayani. The idol looked divine and peace prevailed . Finally when we felt we had seen enough to have the memory imprinted for life time we started back. On the way back, they have kept a kind of stone drum. People had put their ears on it and tapping it. Just because everyone was doing it , we also went and tried not knowing what it was all about. We tried it but all we heard was some meek sound. When i asked people what was special about it they said it makes sound. I was like how is that special. Even today i dont k now the significance of it. God knows what it was all about. Worse, my mother couldnt even make out the meek sound. LOL!
But overall, it was an experience of life time. Its worth seeing once cause how many times in our life do we get to see something covered with gold. But i still stand on my point that 250 is way too costly.
We then continued our quest on room and found a reasonable one to sleep. It was 11:30. So ended a beautiful experience.

26th November

26th night, I heard my father saying that some people have just started firing in Mumbai. I thought "oh god! not those fanatics again". I thought this was yet another effort to send non-maharastrians out. I really didnt bother to look into the news and get the details. Early next morning i went to office as usual. Thanks to Software industry, nobody even bothered to talk about it. People went on with their usual work. I didnt realise the enormity of the situation until one of my friend started a chain mail about it. Thats when i went back and had a look at the latest news. Thats when i realised "Terrorists had started firing indiscriminately in Mumbai". Thats when i realised i was wrong in not taking the news seriously. First thing i did ofcourse was to ensure everyone i knew were ok.Later in the evening wheni went back home the first thing i did was to switch to news channels. What i saw, shocked me. Each channel was showing different situations in 3 different places: Taj, Oberoi and Nariman. Oberoi had a blast and i could see the flames coming out of the window. I realised people were still battling for their survival inside. I heard the reporter say NSG commandos were on the operation and people outside could hear gunshots outside. "oh god! what else does our country have to face" same thought came to mind over and over again.I switched to another channel and saw that they were talking about bravehearts who lost their lives fighting for the country and the countrymen. They showed pictures of people like Karkare sir who went leading his team to combat with the terrorists. Those were his last pictures. I had somehow controlled my emotions all the while watching. The moment they showed the bravehearts i couldnt take it anymore. I have cried more than i have cried in last few years put together. It was so disturbing and i was so moved. The next 2 days went on this way seeing more bravehearts sacrifice their lives and others struggling to get the terrorists. I couldnt take my eyes off the tv. There were so many stories of bravery not just from the NSG commandos or the police, but also from civilians. There was this announcer at CST station who saved so many lives giving continuous instructions to move out from the back gate. Amble sir, who sacrificed his life by taking all the bullets, shot by the terrorist and yet held on to the terrorist as a result of which we have the terrorist in captivity. These people would have been just any other person on a normal day but they made a difference by being a moment more braver than the rest. Thats why they are bravehearts. To this day, i read different stories of bravery in newspaper. I cut all those articles and treasure them. This is my small tribute to them .
So many families are going through the trauma. It is so disturbing. It all seems to be just a beginning. God knows how many more incidents like this will take place. this is not the first time our Country is hit by outsiders. This has been happening over centuries. Earlier it was empires and dynasties. Now it is just in another form as "terrorism". It feels like history is repeating but with a new form. But again its very depressing!
Someday hopefully things will settle down and humans will realise humanity comes above all.

The Ultimate Combination

Its a typical bangalore weather today. CLoudy, cold, a drop of rain here and there, hmmm thats one reason why people love bangalore weather. Its a gloomy day today. Unfortunately being a part of this software industry, all i get to see is computers and cubicles! But still i try to steal a moment or two and enjoy the weather during lunch time. The moment i feel the weather outside, i think of hot bajjis and a cup of tea to accompany it. YUMMM!! I wish i was at home. WOuld have prepared some hot pakodas or bajjis. Then to compliment it a cup of tea, go to terrace or the sitout and then have them. Can something beat that? The Ultimate combination ever, a gloomy day along with bajjis and tea! mmmmmmm!! nicee!

Lake of peace!

[Havent found the right picture yet]

There are times when a person feels better to be left alone and spend time with oneself or brood over their feelings. This probably happens to me more often than to many others. At certain times i would like to have a conversation with myself and nobody to question. This can never happen at places where people know you. so it should always be a place where no one can reach you.Actually i have not found my de-stress refuge. I have the picture of how it should look in my mind. my imagination is beautiful but i dont think the place actually exists :). When i imagine the place i would like to be when i want to be alone, I see a house amidst lot of trees, a small house with one bedroom, a small kitchen, a living room with a shelf filled with my favourite books and a fireplace and of course a bathroom :).
The small lane outside the main door leading into the woods, upto a small creek, where there is a stream flowing. There is a small man made bridge of wood( i would love to build the bridge myself to cross the stream ). I cross the stream and walk on into the wood. As i walk on, I see a ray of light growing brighter. The lane finally ends and i see a lake with ducks swimming here and there over the lake. There are wild bushes with flowers unknown to me but yet beautiful. There are small pebbles around the lake which are smooth touched by the gentle water. A cloudy day with slight drizzling would definitely make the place a heaven and a place for myself. I would love to keep my feet in the water, brood over my thoughts, rain drizzling or watching the beautiful sky lit with colours during sunset.
hmmmmmmmm. i am almost there in my mind. The thought of it soothes my mind and peace dawns.I havent found a place which fits my description. I wish i find it before my lifetime and get to spend atleast one day there.

Dance like nobody is watching you!

"Everything in the universe has rhythm. Everything dances."
- Maya Angelou
:) the thought makes me smile. or Should i say the word dance and rhythm makes me smile. Its been a desire from childhood to learn one form dancing. but well things dont always fall into place. So i decided what if i dont learn them i can always dance whenever i feel like doing so. The zeal to dance becomes higher specially when i see madhuri dixit dancing. Its a treat to the eyes to watch her dancing. The grace, the perfect steps, the ease with which she dances, the flow - everything is so beautiful. so the day i watch a movie in which madhuri is dancing, the whole day almost goes in humming the song and taking a step each time. My parents laugh at me, my sister sometime joins me. Its amazing.
Whenever i am on a team outing or with a group friends, i am probably the first to initiate dancing. Most of the people are apprehensive, but once they try it, they are with the flow. it takes a while to sink in that no one is professional dancers and nobody expects u to be good at dancing. Then all are dancing to their own dancing steps. its feels good at the end of it.
IF you ask me every person loves to dance. They are just tied by their on inhibitions and the feeling of how it might look to people around us. The fear of people laughing at us. Once we forget there are people looking at us everyone will dance. :)
Dance has always been a passion. I may not be a professional but that doesnt stop me from dancing a step or two on good numbers . I feel it a very good way to express and de-stress. if i had learnt dance i would have probably danced all my tensions away. I am still thinking of joining a class someday. Someday i want to dance good steps to good tunes, not just my style of dancing.